It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
