I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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