how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
