I've blown a few things in my day
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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