Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
