YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize