Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
