I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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