I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
