Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
