Christians are straight up FREAKS
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
