fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
