Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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