You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
