you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
