i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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