he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
