I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
