Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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