NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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