just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Never joke about your clitoris.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
