Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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