At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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