My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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