marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize