oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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