nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
