It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
