is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
