She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize