You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
