It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
