hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
