she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
