beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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