sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
