apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
