Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
