U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
