Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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