sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Is this like a preordered booty call?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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