Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
