walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
