I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We are two peas in an std pod
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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