My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
