Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
