bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
