dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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