Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
