my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
