Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
