just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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