yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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