Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
