Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
