For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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