I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
